Immortal
by Vibrant Spectrum
Summary: My belated tribute to Michael Jackson. Rukia has always struggling with pain and loss. First, her friends from Rukongai. Then, Kaien-dono. How will she bring herself to attend the funeral of the man she murdered?


(Note: I am making progress on Deliver Us – Chapter 5. This is just a side stop; you know, like a toilet break on a road trip.)

Hello good readers of my work. How have you been doing? If you're an MJ fan, then I offer my condolences. Yes, I agree, he was great. I wasn't a very big fan but his death compelled me to find out more, and now I regret not paying him more attention and respect when he was alive. I suppose you could call me a belated fan.

As such, I would like to dedicate this little fic here to Michael Jackson. In fact, the message of this fic is the message I would like to give to MJ fans all around the world. It will be revealed at the bottom; if I forget, tell me and I'll put it up ASAP.

Did anyone else notice that Farah Fawcette died too?

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. If I did…well, then you'll probably never have heard of it.

Dedication: **Immortal** is dedicated to the late Michael Joseph Jackson. May he rest in piece, and may the paparazzi finally leave him alone.

**Immortal**

_Flashback: 5 years_

She was curled up in the corner, fighting the tears that threatened to fall. The brunette wrapped her arms around herself, seeking the comfort that no one else could provide.

A strong hand suddenly put itself on her shoulder. "Kuchiki? Is that you sulking down there? What's wrong?"

She looked up at him and sniffed. "It's nothing."

He laughed and bent down so that he was at eye level with her. "Rukia. Don't lie."

It had been the way he had said her name that made her crack. The tears started falling, and she had hugged him. Tightly. Never wanting to let go. Never wanting him to leave her.

"C-can't… b-b-breathe…"

She quickly relinquished her hold on him, but then forgot as soon as she saw his face, and hugged him again.

"Kuchiki… Let go of me and tell me what's wrong!"

She had smiled a small smile at him. At his aggressive way of doing things. Then she told him, her eyes sad and downcast. "Today is the day one of my friends from Rukongai died."

He had sighed then. "Rukia... Would you like to talk about it?"

She shook her head. "Long, thin nails through his chest… That was all." The young girl shuddered at the memory.

Then he brightened. Rukia could tell at once: he had something planned to make her feel better.

"I know! We could do something to like, remember him!"

"Like what?"

"Hmm… Got it! Wait at the nearest gate to Rukongai for me in half-an-hour's time, and bring your sword."

She had raised her eyebrows at that, but did so anyway.

Thirty-five minutes later, Rukia, stood outside a disc of ice, with a large pile of frozen, long, thin nails in the centre. Suddenly, she was pushed forward by the man behind her.

She lost her balance and stumbled forward, crushing some nails. Then she realised.

She delighted in the crunching of the nails beneath her feet. The power that it gave her over the death of her friend. The exhilaration of the destruction of death.

Once Rukia had started, she found that she couldn't stop. _Crunch, crunch, crunch._ Then she suddenly realised that she was smiling, that she couldn't stop smiling.

When all the nails had finally been crushed to fine ice crystals, Rukia turned to the man, who was watching with amusement. She had embraced him in a bear hug again, with a smile of gratitude that she had finally gotten over the death of the friend.

Maybe she had been wrong. Someone _could_ provide that comfort. Kaien-dono would always be there for her.

At the Twelfth Division, there was a loud crash as the entire building collapsed on itself. Urahara stared in shock at the rubble around him. As he started digging people out from under what used to be his office, he realised something: Not a single one of the long, thin nails that were used to hold up the buildings were to be found.

Hmm…mysterious...

_Present day (Rukia's POV)_

I sat facing the wall, curled up, just like so many years ago. I couldn't bear to let the rest of the squad see my face. How could I possibly attend the funeral of the man I had killed?

A gentle hand touched my shoulder. I vaguely wished it was stronger, like in the memory. "Rukia, time to go. We'll be late if we don't leave soon."

I buried my face deeper into my knees. My Captain must have finally lost it from all his medication. Did he really think that _I _would go _his_ funeral?

The emptiness in my chest burned. I thought I could feel something gnawing away at my insides, but then again, that was probably just the evil in me that killed _him._

Kaien-dono…

"Rukia! Snap out of it!" I glanced up at the blonde Third seat who had interrupted my thoughts.

"Kiyone. Go on ahead with Sentaro first. We'll catch up."

She left, leaving only silence. "'We'?" I asked. "What makes you think I'll be going?" I hated how bitter my voice sounded, especially since this was my Captain, but I couldn't stop myself.

He sighed. "Look, Rukia. Nobody blames you for what happened."

"_I_ blame me for what happened." I was surprised at how calm my voice was, considering the conflict in my heart.

I could just imagine him closing his eyes, searching for solutions. I was quite sure that in all his years as a Captain, he had never come across a situation such as this. Or if he had, it was all handled by Kaien-dono…

How I wish he were here now to comfort me. Just like he did so many years ago.

"It wasn't your fault that he died. There was nothing you could have done about it."

"I could have been less of a coward! Don't you see, Captain, it was _my_ blade that pierced him!" My voice went up in pitch, but I didn't care.

Then I was surprised to taste salt, surprised to hear myself sobbing, albeit quietly. So much for being calm.

My Captain hugged me like he was trying to squeeze the sadness out of me. But of course, I knew he couldn't do it; I had destroyed my hopes of ever being happy again when I killed _him_.

"Rukia. Look at me."

I hesitated. What would I see in his eyes? Hate? Pity? Sadness?

Slowly, I turned my head and look at him, unable to believe the kind understanding that shone brightly in his eyes. Why did he not hate me for killing his second in command? I believe, at that point in time, that I hated myself more than he did.

I took his hand and got up. My Captain led me to the open door, where he showed me a few lingering officers, almost late for the funeral service. Most of them walked slowly with their heads down, like they were lost.

"Rukia, no one hates you for what you did. In fact, all those men out there now feel just as lost as you do. So please, stop blaming yourself. It really isn't your fault."

I stared at him. Noticed the way the light had gone from his eyes. Suddenly, I understood. I was hurting everyone around me by being so sad.

"Do you remember what he said to you before he died, Rukia? He said that a heart is formed whenever two people interacted, and he wanted you to carry on his heart, to pass it on and keep it alive. Don't you get it yet?"

He placed his hands on my shoulders and looked me in the eyes. "Kaien wanted you to remember him, not mourn for him. And I'm very, very sure that he doesn't want you to feel guilty."

He sighed. "From the way I see it, Kaien isn't dead."

I stared at him, hoping, wishing, needing it to be true.

My Captain frowned at my desperation. "Kaien is dead physically. That is for sure. However. He formed an unbreakable bond with each and everyone one of us. That's what this memorial service is for. All of us are gathering together, bringing together all the pieces of his heart that he shared with us and making them whole so that we can see him for who he really was. That's why you have to go to the service. Without you, Kaien wouldn't be complete."

I closed my eyes.

Maybe, just maybe, I would be able to survive without Kaein-dono.

**~end~**

There we go! First, I must apologise for any OOCness. I find Rukia a hard character to write about.

Second. This is my message to MJ fans (if you didn't already catch it). He may have passed on, but he will be remembered through our experiences and his music, and though us, he will be immortal. We will never forget.

Yes. There's more, but I'd prefer for you to figure it out yourselves.

If you see any mistakes, or think an improvement can be made, drop me a review and I'll bite. If you're reviewing anonymously, do make sure to leave your email and I'll get back to you.

Hope you enjoyed reading!


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